i'm still not over you...

"trying to erase the way your kisses taste,
but some things a girl can never forget"

lines from rihanna's song...
befitting for my current situation...
yes, i admit...i still love him very much...
though i broke up with him, it doesn't really mean that i've stopped loving him, i think i never will...
i've come to accept the fact that i am totally and absolutely in love with him...
i just don't want the relationship anymore...
i'm not broken-hearted, not anymore, i used to be but i healed very slowly, then we broke up...
we became one before, now wer'e two different entities, though still linked together at some point...

i thank him for the times he's made me laugh, the times he's made me smile, the times he's made my world stop so that i could capture that precious moment with him...
but i thank him more for making me patient, strong, kind, understanding and above all things...brave enough to learn when to let go...i became smart because of him...
lesson learned...hehehehe...maybe the reason why i am not as sad and downtrodden as i should be is cause i gave all that i could afford to give and i regret nothing...
not the missed opportunities, not the times people saw me as something i'm not just cause of my extreme love for him...i regret nothing and i'm happy to say that i may not be over him yet, i never will be but i learned a totally valuable lesson from him...i must love myself too...

i love you very much Renegade Jan Ceniza, but i won't come back...
i'm sorry...
i'm keeping your ring, it means a lot to both of us after all...but whenever its time, you can have it back whenever you want...
thank you for everything...you used to be mine...take care!