why am i always the last to know?

as i write this blog, the tears slowly fall from my eyes...
why am i always the last to know?
there are so many things that i am blinded from, i don't know if it's for my own good or not but it hurts when i find out by myself and it's too late...
i suddenly feel like an ignoramus, a person not worth telling anything cause she isn't worth your time of day...

i call these people friends...
i share my most intimate feelings with them and i share my innermost thoughts...
and yet...what's visibly seen cannot even be conveyed into words...
they leave me out of the loop...
it hurts knowing that i care and love them...
yet they disregard me...
sad...isn't it..?